Our Trail of Tears

Some of you have asked if Ammon is always smiling. Uh, no. He is either smiling or screaming. Thankfully its more smiles than screams. But in the past 24 hours we by far experienced more of the screams. It started when we entered the Hefei airport. He wanted to run. He wanted to go up the escalator, down the stairs, up the escalator, down the stairs......etc., etc., etc. To board the plane to Guangzhou you had to go through the gate and board a bus that would drive you on the tarmac to your waiting plane. We got on and it was cold, raining and dark outside. There were many of us squished into the vehicle and when Ammon saw the doors close he panicked. It wasn't just crying because he wanted to get out. It was complete and utter fear from deep within him and he became hysterical. He was clawing at the windows trying to get out. You just felt so bad for him because you knew he was so very frightened.

Those on the bus felt sorry for all of us and wouldn't let us take our own bags up the stairs to the plane. They all rallied for us...but I could just see how disheartened they were to have to have us on their flight. Stephen and I were both anxious about that moment of dread....buckling the seat belt. We put Ammon in the window seat and Daddy put his seatbelt on first and then Ammon smiled wide and WANTED his on. He was perfect for take off. Then he fell asleep. Daddy and I were jubilant. So was the rest of the plane!!

If we didn't have to stop in another city before arriving in Guangzhou he would have likely slept all the way. But no, he awoke and dinner occupied him until he dumped his rice all down the pocket of the seat in front of us. That made him cry because he wanted to eat that rice, dang it!

During the whole flight Lan was sleeping next to me. The last 10 minutes of the flight I had to change seats with Daddy to get Ammon to stay IN HIS SEATBELT for landing and during this Lan woke up and was furious that I had left her to sit by Ammon. She wouldn't speak to me until we got through baggage claim and met Connie, our guide.

We were ready to fall at Connie's feet, we were so relieved to have arrived in Guangzhou and have one flight under our belts and out of the way. We arrived at the White Swan just before 11 pm and Ammon proceeded to use his usual cheery loud voice to announce his arrival to all those sleeping behind the doors in our hallway till we reached our room.

Just before midnight they brought in the child mattress for the floor. Lan wants to sleep with us so we planned for Ammon to sleep on it. That was the wrong plan, Lan let us know as she relayed to us, "Sigh, I use to be so lucky. Now I guess my luck will all be bad now because of this little brother." She had already told us that morning that, "We should not have buyed this little brother." ( And yes, I clearly explained that we "buyed" nobody but that being a big sister is very hard work as we have to teach him how to be a little brother.)

We had breakfast at the buffet and Ammon would not sit down. He wanted to stand and watch the boats on the Pearl River so we just kept supplying him with chicken nuggets and carrot bites and he was fine. We played in the Swan Room with all the toys as we waited for Connie and then it was off to the photo shop and medical.

Oh dear. He was having NONE of the photo op. Finally dad had to put him on his shoulders crouch on the floor so Ammon only would be seen. The rules of Immigration state that the picture must facing forward, eyes open. We have that plus pure misery on his face. That moment in his life will follow him the rest of him life as that look with be pasted for all time on his Certificate of US citizenship.

Next we entered the medical clinic and went to the Adopted Child section. Of dear, oh dear, OH DEAR!!!! Just look at the photos and you can see how well that went. He had surgery for his undescended testicle last year and I imagine he remembers that on some level, and by looking at his scar I would guess it was quite painful and unpleasant. No tongue depressor was needed to look down his throat. The doctor made sure to tell us that he gave her the widest look down the screaming throat of a child in a long while, LOL!

Later, after Connie helped us with the paperwork she said to me, "Stefani, I really think it is best that you are his parents. I believe that some families would have wanted to reject him." He really is hard work but you just feel so sad for him that there has been fearful things for him to bear by age three. He has no idea what is about to happen next to him. So we try to be as consistant a schedule and guidance as we can. He is a lovely, bright soul and he will be fine. But it will take time for him to learn that he will be. We love this boy!!!!