Hello, my name is Stefani and I have TABS

Yes, yes, it is true. Far too true. Have you ever heard of someone being adle brained? Well, I have the temporary form of it and it is called TAdle Brain Syndrome or TABS for short. This affliction follows Fotki Syndrome and months and months of waiting in limbo for that magic "golden ticket" called a TA (Travel Approval).

Just as with a computer tab key that skips spaces TABS make the brain skip places. While you may appear to others as completely coherent, your brain is really on standby and not computing. Its aptly named because you can't keep tabs on your keys, your car space in the Walmart parking lot, or the names of your kids even when you are looking right at them and know full well who they are.

In just the past two days TABS has sent me in circles.

1. I had to go to the store to specifically buy milk. I went to store, purchased 2 gallons of milk and $93 worth of other food stuffs, loaded my car, went home. Upon arriving home discovered that I had left the milk jugs in my cart in the parking lot. TABS....its TABS.

2. That same day I referred to Baby Blu on the home page as Spring when I knew she was really Keely in Group 12 because I had given her that very name. TABS...its TABS.

3. I called for help with my blog because I couldn't see my recent posts. Apparently all I needed to do was to hit refresh on the blog homepage because my browser was holding onto a cached version. Vioala! Now I can see it. The explanation was clearly in the help section that one of you so graciously let me know. TABS...its TABS.

4. I put the eggs in the pantry and the dog food in the fridge. TABS...its TABS.

It matters not how many times one waits for TA, TABS is a given. When a mother knows her child is waiting and that the TA call is due ANY DAY, there is nothing to be done but admit that she has it and for others in her presence to share that knowing look and whisper to each other, "She can't help it. TABS...its TABS."

The First Time Ever We Saw Your Face...

When I first saw these photos my heart skipped a beat as your smile just sparkled! I didn't know then that you would be my son. In fact, it would take 6 more months before that would become clear to our family. But this is the face we first saw. Look how you have grown in the past year.

Mama

Our Little Boy Blue

LITTLE BOY BLUE

Written by his expectant mother Stefani on the day his referral was accepted. References are made to his growth report written by his concerned SWI caregivers:

“When Ling first came to our SWI at 15 months old, he was quite dissocial. He usually walked by himself and had no interest in toys. He would find the leaf or a small feather on the floor and play with those instead for a very long time. He could play with a 10cm feather for hours. He liked sitting and lying alone. Because of this, we paid more attention to him, and made special food plans for him to strengthen his nutrition. We gave him therapy and tried to direct him consciously, letting him play with other children and we prevented him from infantile autism.”

Little Boy Blue
Come blow your horn
There’s a story to tell you
Of how your family was born.

It started...

Little Boy Sad
So much to mourn
Frightened and hungry
Grieved and forlorn

Little Boy Lost
Confused and withdrawn
No Mama, no Baba
No place to belong

Little Boy Lonely
Isolated, undefended
Small leaves and soft feathers
Forlornly befriended

Little Boy Tentative
So much long unspoken
Timidly voicing your wants
The silence now broken

Little Boy Brave
Once again filled with hope
That others would help you
They’d reach you, you’d cope

Little Boy Smiling
The solitude ends
Finally, joining the circle
Of welcoming friends

Little Boy Found
Yes, yes, it is true!
A family is ready
To welcome just you

Little Boy Chosen
Precious YOU are the one
Proud parents announce
“You’re forever our son!”

Little Boy Loved
With a passion extreme
Until they arrive
Dream, baby boy, dream.