Oh sweet boy. This has been a very hard week for us. One of my very dear friend lost her firstborn adult daughter. She was in the hospital, in a coma, for 5 days. She died on Saturday. During those 5 days we cared for her daughter's 3 year old son. Amidst the deep despair he was a ray of sunshine. How he brightened our very sad days!! He filled in just a tiny way the very big hole that is in our hearts because you are missing.
We were so anxious to get your TA on Monday. The CCAA told us it was coming, we knew the package had been mailed. We waited for the phone call from Xiaoli that the package had arrived. Well, she called as the package came with EVERYONE else's TA but ours. Oh, the shock!! The disappointment. Apparently a signature got missed somewhere and they had to send it back to be corrected. So, once again, we wait not knowing when we will be able to bring you home.
This afternoon I sat down at the computer, feeling depleted. Why has this been such a fight to get you home? We have fought US Immigration. We have hit the CCAA moving, going on vacation, having too much work to keep up and now an oversight that delays us again. As I felt sorry for myself and wondered if I had the energy to keep at this, I saw that I had new email in my box. I clicked it open and what should I see? YOUR AMAZING SMILE!!!! Oh, how I needed to see that today. Here you were looking at the camera like you were trying to say, "Hi Mama!! Its okay. I'm okay. I'll be alright until you get here. I'm okay"
As I let all my emotions brim and flow, another photo and then another and then another made it into my box. TEN photos of you getting toys from a foundation sponsoring your orphanage. You are holding a big red firetruck with such joy on your face that you can bet I'm going out tonight to buy you a firetruck.
In my sadness, these glimpses into your life and your happiness let me know that you are going to be fine and I just need to keep my eye looking towards you to keep me moving forward. I love you my little son. You must wonder why we still aren't there. Do you still believe we are coming? We are coming. We are coming.
